Interaction Rules

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I was reading the Question/Answer area of LinkedIn earlier and I read a discussion about asking people on LinkedIn to connect with you that you don’t know. Someone on there inferred that they got ’slapped on the wrist’ by LI for getting too many “I don’t know this person” buttons being pushed on them by sending invites to people they didn’t really know (LinkedIn puts some restrictions on you if too many people that you invite to connect respond that they don’t know you). Now they’re afraid to send invitations to people they really don’t know.

Well, I can tell you the problem….’why’ people are pushing the ‘button‘ on you - because you’re not being social. You sent them the ‘ol generic, canned “I want to add you to my LinkedIn network” message that is automatically inserted when you send an invite. That’s why you got the “button“.

Understand this, people don’t want to be another number for you.

If you spend just a few extra seconds personalizing your message and telling the person why you want to connect with them, I’ll bet a lot less people push the “I don’t know this person” button.

Let’s face it, most of the people we ‘add’ on any network, we don’t know (except for those of you who seriously only use it for family). That’s the point for many of us - to get to know new people. But, if you ‘warm up’ your potential new buddy, they’ll probably be open to connecting with you. Flattery will get you everywhere. And I’m not talking super kiss-ass flattery necessarily, but flattery by letting them know that you know something about them. Telling them you share a common interest, telling them you liked their website and why, telling them SOMETHING that lets them know you spent a minute checking them out will usually get your foot in the door.

The whole point of using social networks is to connect with others, for whatever reason, but if you don’t make them feel some sort of connection, you’re likely to get the ‘button‘!

Not everyone is in a race to get as many numbers as possible, and if they feel you’re in that race, they won’t have any interest in you.

I sent a couple of handfuls of connection requests on an account I manage this week. I believe they’ve ALL connected with me. All I did was tell them ‘why’ I wanted to connect with them. And I didn’t send messages that were paragraphs long, I think the message was maybe 2 or 3 sentences long…but that’s all it takes.

Another perk to taking the social approach to inviting people to connect with you is that when you ’speak’ to a person, you’ve taken the first step in familiarizing this person with you…and that’s a VERY important step. That step is your first moment of recognition. When you speak to a person, they take notice of you and speak back. And when a person interacts with you, by speaking back or other interactions, they’re much more likely to remember you next time they see you. Interaction rules.

A few years ago when I was working a 9-5, I worked downtown at a law firm as a paralegal. On my birthday, I got SO many gifts from people at various hotels, restaurants, Starbucks, and shops downtown that I had to have a big box and help to get it all to my car. I don’t say that to brag, I say that to say the reason is because I’m a social person, even offline. I frequented these various places that I got gifts from and I interacted with the people there every time I went in. I didn’t just go in and do my business and leave. I talked to people, I laughed with them, I complimented them, I asked what was wrong when they were having a bad day. On my birthday that year, I realized just how much those people appreciated my few minutes of time that I dedicated to them when I saw them. My very basic interactions with them left a huge impression. It works the same way online.

These days I think more people online wish me a Happy Birthday than offline!

Whether we’re online or off, we’re still people with the same basic needs and the same appreciation of someone’s time and attention.

If you keep that in mind at all times, through all of your ‘social‘ actions, you’re sure to get the attention and recognition you seek.

Social Media Maniac,
@areaK

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